The same person who suggested that I read A new way to win by Tobias Desjardins also suggested that I read High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy, LCSW, ESQ, and I have to say, this book has really helped me get through some of the things I’m going through.
This particular book is intended for professionals, such as counselors, lawyers, judges, etc. and how to best identify and work with (or let go of) high-conflict people, and know when to let go of clients with this personality type. Eddy delves into the DSM-IV-TR Group B personality disorders: borderline, narcissistic, antisocial, and histrionic. Most people with high conflict personality disorders have one or more (typically more) of these personality disorders. While I had studied these specific personality disorders while studying for my psychology major, since I don’t deal with personality disorders on a regular basis, this was a great refresher for me.
People with these personality disorders tend to have specific cognitive distortions, which the individual actually believes to be true, even if it is their made-up reality.
I found the information in this book quite useful for my situation, especially as it describes who and how someone can become a target for a person with one of these personality disorders. It also describes exactly how I have felt as a target and how I should handle the situation with some pretty specific advice.
I also found it helpful to understand how a person with cognitive distortions thinks and feels, and to learn why they do the things they do. This helps me understand how to handle specific situations both in person and through documentation for other professionals (ie investigators, police, and judges). It also helped me prepare for the worst possible outcome for my situation; however, because of the information and advice presented in this book, I was able to present myself and my evidence in a way that was beneficial to my side.
Often times, someone with these types of personality disorders has had them from a very young age, and without proper (and specific) treatment, these disorders will:
- rule their lives
- Continue them down the self-destructive path
- Maintain and increase interpersonal conflicts, unreliability, dramatic mood swings, and instability in all aspects of the individual’s life.
- Create concern about cognitive distortions and delusions.
Each personality disorder will result in different fundamental failures and difficulties with each area of the person’s life. However, when an individual has the four of them of these disorders, it really is a recipe for disaster for them and anyone around them because everyone will be affected.
If you are a professional, if you think you have been the subject of a legal dispute by someone and drugs, if you think you may be in a relationship (or are in a relationship), or are simply looking for additional information on these personality disorders, I recommend Please read this book as it is very insightful, informative and easy to read (even if you are not a professional in one of these areas which requires a contract level of reading comprehension).