There will be days in the life of a married couple when they wonder whether they should move on or separate. Sometimes these thoughts are temporary and are the byproduct of a fairly animated discussion that got out of hand when insults began to be thrown at each other. Other times, the desire to end the marriage is based on long-standing frustration or dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole. When one partner finds the emotional courage to tell his spouse that he is no longer happy, two things can realistically happen. Either the couple will agree to separate for a time, or the person to whom their partner tells that the marriage is over will react badly. If you are a husband and your wife recently told you that you would like to be away from your marriage for some time, you may have fallen into the category of an involuntary participant in a separation. If that sounds like you, you should consider what is best not only for your marriage, but also for you and your wife as individuals.
It is human nature to want to protect the things that are vitally important to you. That is why when the topic of your marriage breaking up comes up, you react in a way that suggests to your wife that you have nothing to do with it. You may have stormed out of the room at the mere mention of a temporary separation, or maybe you told her you can’t live without it in an effort to make her reconsider the guilt. Regardless of the approach you decided to take, your wife now ultimately sees that you are ready, willing, and emotionally capable of fighting for your marriage. That’s romantic in theory, but right now your wife isn’t looking for you to play the role of Prince Charming, she just wants you to understand her needs and help her meet them.
On the surface, taking time out for each other can seem like a relationship failure. That is not it at all. In fact, it can be the mature way to regain focus and reconnect on an emotional level. It is often difficult to see the good in a person when you are always in a negative place. If you and your wife have reached a point in your marriage where arguing is normal, staying in the same situation is not going to contribute to any kind of positive change. They will continue to argue, the tension will mount, and eventually both of you will simply raise their hands in the air in utter frustration and decide that divorce is the answer.
A temporary wait time or separation gives you both room to breathe and, more importantly, perspective. If you take a step back from conflict, your temper will calm down and all the difficult emotions that have been bouncing around will finally calm down. You will begin to remember the best moments that you and your wife have shared, and so will she.
The best gift you can give your wife if she asks for space or time is to be compassionate when giving it to her. Do not see this as the beginning of the end of your marriage, but rather as the beginning of the best part of your marriage. By separating from each other, you will soon realize what each means to the other. It will also help you calm your emotions enough to reach a point where you can clearly determine whether moving towards a stronger, happier, and kinder marriage is possible or whether making the separation more permanent would be possible. both your best interests. You will never know the strength of your connection to your wife unless you put her to the test and put your faith in her and yourself to weather the storm.