The first day of class…
I hated it.
I used to skip all my classes on the first day of school.
I still remember those incidents like it was yesterday.
The first day of school and the teacher walks into the class, gives us a brief introduction and waits for us to get up and INTRODUCE ONE BY ONE.
…And that’s when you realize that it’s “THAT” time again where you’ll be going on an emotional roller coaster full of STRESS, FEAR, DOUBT, FRUSTRATION, UNCERTAINTY and a lot of NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
You start counting desks to calculate how many classmates you have left before it’s YOUR TURN to introduce yourself… and worst of all, you see ALL your friends doing it like EASILY while enjoying the process.
The first question you ask yourself is;
“Why can’t I do a task as EASY as saying MY OWN NAME and introducing myself in 2-3 sentences? WHY! WHY! WHY!” IT FRUSTRATES US VERY MUCH.
Our negative inner SETUP doesn’t stop there and continues to destroy us.
So why do we have problems in those kinds of situations? Why are we afraid of stuttering in front of others?
Being seen as inadequate and less than others perhaps?
At the core of this behavior, there is…
The fear of BEING JUDGED!
We worry too much about what others THINK OF US. Let me tell you a rule of mine when it comes to fear and limiting beliefs.
The only way to dissolve a fear is to FACE that fear, CHALLENGE your LIMITING BELIEFS surrounded by that specific fear, and PROVE to yourself over and over again that you can achieve positive results in real life, even if the fear is present.
That would lead you to start dissolving that fear and eventually getting rid of it altogether!
In general, this also applies to overcoming the challenge of stuttering. But for the purpose of this article, let’s look at our specific example:
Fear is; show up in class.
Here is a step by step strategy that I call FDS (FEAR DISSOLUTION STRATEGY) that will provide you with the solution for our specific case.
Step 1: Get in the right mindset
Accept that you have a speech challenge and that you are working on it to dissolve your stuttering iceberg. This is a process that you are improving every day until you reach your ultimate goal and speak the way you want to speak in any situation and under any circumstances.
Try to minimize your tendency to hold back and get lost in limiting beliefs. Your speech is NOT your identity, it’s not who you are, it’s what you do.
Think of the same situation. However, this time imagine that all your classmates and the teacher are 2 YEARS OLD and they can’t even think straight.
Would you stutter so much in that case?
I do not think. Why?
Because the main reason you stutter in that situation is the search for approval and your FEAR OF BEING JUDGED for the way you speak.
You think you WILL NOT GET APPROVAL and LIKES if you stutter in front of those people.
But in the intended case you would know that you are superior and you will not be judged no matter what.
…and of course, as a result, the fear and all the negative emotions and thoughts that TRIGGER YOUR STAMMERING BEHAVIOR would not be there.
Step 2 – Equip yourself with effective tools and techniques
Stay calm, be confident, and use your speaking tools and techniques unapologetically. These can be both mental and physical speech techniques such as breathing, speaking cycle, easy or assertive initiation, speaking from the chest/head/abdominals, imagining that words are made of air or water, pausing just before your name and a million more. that is available to you.
Step 3: Face the fear over and over again
Getting a single positive result will not be enough to dissolve that piece of your stuttering iceberg. You just need to face that fear enough times and get positive results in real life until that fear eventually COMPLETELY DISSOLVES and is gone.
Facing a fear when equipped with tools, techniques, and strategies works even if you don’t get the exact results you want in the initial stages. The more you avoid a fear and all the negative emotions it will bring you, the worse it becomes… and the more you face it, the weaker the fear and negative emotions become.
Step 4 – Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs and Prove You Can Do It
Never avoid this specific situation of speaking. In fact, it CREATES other similar situations where it is expected to occur.
Search the Internet, find groups that meet regularly, and attend their group meetings. This way, you’ll put yourself in that dreaded situation and perform in front of a group enough times to dissolve that specific part of your stuttering iceberg.
I know it may sound intimidating at first, but I firmly believe the REWARD will be worth it.
One last note…