I have written several articles exposing my experience after my husband’s adventure for all to read. I often receive emails from women in the same situation. Many ask me what is the best way to get revenge on the other woman and / or her husband. I understand these feelings because I felt them myself. I used to follow the other woman, trying to work up the courage to get close to her. Or I would devise horrible ways to get back at her (which I never actually did). So I understand that you want her to feel every ounce of pain and ache that you feel right now. However, you might be surprised what your best revenge really is. I will explain more below.
To understand the best way to get back at the other woman, think about what she values (and wants) the most: A lot of people will tell me that they intend to play physical jokes on the lover, such as messing with her car, doing something to her house, or embarrassing or embarrassing her in front of others. Another popular tactic is to tell your husband about the affair if she is married. Again, I understand this. But let’s think about this for a second. These things are all temporary, right? She can fix her house and her car. And it is very likely that very little can embarrass her because she is engaging in behavior that proves she is not ashamed.
What does she want and what values can you take away from her? Your husband. He wants to take your husband away from you. In fact, your best scenario is that you lose control and appear unattractive, unstable, and defeated. Always remember that she wants you in a weakened state because that makes her job so much easier. So when you become enraged, lose control of your emotions, or hit your husband, you are directly playing with his plan. You’re making it a lot easier for him, which only gives him what he wants.
How to take the life of the lover: There is a saying that says “happiness is the best revenge”. That is so true right now. The mistress does not want you to be happy. She doesn’t want your husband to be happy with you. She needs things in her house to be tense and heavy because this means that her husband will seek her out as a safe haven. Don’t play with this. Don’t give him what he wants. Whether it saves your marriage or not, don’t let her hit you. Don’t let her take away your productive and satisfying life. Don’t let her steal your self-esteem.
This is the truth. Your husband’s affair has less to do with you (or even her) than you think. Often times, an affair is a man’s way of regaining his self-esteem or something that breaks inside him. Very often, the mistress was in the right place at the right time. It is more a matter of time than anything else. There is nothing special about it. In fact, more than 85% of cheating husbands admitted in a study that the other woman was not more attractive or more seductive than their wives.
So what does she have that you don’t? She doesn’t live in the real world! You do not have to pick up your husband’s dirty socks or prepare food for him. You probably don’t put too much pressure on your husband. She is very funny without any sacrifice. She doesn’t have to worry about bills or housekeeping. She can be presented as untethered fun.
But you know what? She can’t go on like this forever. The longer the adventure lasts, the more reality will prevail. She will begin to demand more from her husband and this will make her less and less attractive. And then she plays directly into your hand, rather than the other way around.
Don’t let her put a negative presence in your life: I know you think it can be very satisfying to confront this woman or hurt her. But please believe me when I tell you that I have seen a lot of my readers do this and it almost never works out. She will do everything possible to make you doubt yourself and your husband. She will give you a mental image that is very difficult to erase from your mind. And she will only launch herself more negatively and doubt you. So, don’t let her do this.
Instead, behave with dignity and grace, two traits you definitely don’t have. Don’t play with his hand and wait for him to pass. Focus on your husband, your family, and those things that are important to you. Build yourself and your marriage (if you decide to save it). What this woman really wants is to stay in her husband’s life (and therefore hers). Don’t let him do this. Throw her away like the little mosquito that she is.
Ultimately, your worst case scenario is if your husband tires of her, breaks all ties, and then agrees to save his marriage with you. She doesn’t want this to happen. So your best revenge against her is to be absolutely sure that this is exactly what happens, if that’s what you want. Remember, you make the decisions in your own life, not in it.