9:35 am: “Market rallies at open on strong Belwether CSCO earnings”
11:00am: “Stocks down after investors realize CSCO hasn’t been a benchmark in 3 years”
12:15pm: “Stocks Drop Further as Dingbat Flies Private Plane Near White House”
12:35pm: “Stocks stabilize as market realizes this is just one of 496 false rumors being reported exclusively in the financial press – check out the ‘suspicious package’ headlines from the past 9 months” .
12:45 pm: “Bin Laden captured AGAIN… But sources say there was a hole in the net, AGAIN”
13:05: “That Zarqawi also captured, or at least someone who looks like him.”
1:25pm: “Crude Oil Crashes, Applause From Wall Street, “Time To Take Some TRIPS!”
1:30pm: “Stocks on a roll with excellent CSCO earnings and cheap oil in mind”
1:45:PM “CORRECTION: Stocks down on the day as CSCO earnings disappoint and crude oil climbs 45 cents again”
1:50pm: “CORRECTION: Remove the 1:45pm headline from the log and see the 1:30pm comment”
2:05 pm: “Bush to sign $432 billion war spending bill as treasure chest of mystery money appears on Capitol Hill”
2:25pm: “FOLLOW UP: Earlier private plane said to have delivered treasure chest to DC coffers”
2:26pm: “Market Rises as Investors Impressed with Surveillance of US National Security Efforts Previously.”
2:30 pm: “It’s 2:30 for everyone.”
2:45pm: “re: The Bush War Spending Plan: “Sources Say Homeless Need To Be Screwed Now.”
3:00:PM “Pakistan says they have isolated Bin Laden in a 5-mile area in southeastern Pakistan. Story first reported 3 1/2 years ago. Believes in slow and steady process.”
3:25:PM: “Traders wrap up daily dart-tossing session to prepare for end-of-day buy shows”
4:00 pm: “Market closes lower on lukewarm reaction to CSCO earnings and fears over crude oil, private jets and whether the Spurs will beat the Sonics again tonight”