One of the biggest challenges many American women face is knowing when to finish a meal. Pop quiz.
When you eat, how do you know when to stop?
a) when your plate is clean
b) after everyone has finished eating
c) when all the food is gone
d) when you’re full
If you answered, d) when it’s full, you’re right. You are probably at a healthy weight and maintain it effortlessly because you can eat until your physical hunger is satisfied. But many people who struggle with their weight don’t have a strong connection to their bodies, so they can’t stop eating until they are full. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating.
Internal vs. External signals
Last year, Cornell University researchers studied groups of people in the US and France to understand how they knew when to stop eating. They found that those who relied on external cues – external cues like a clean plate, an empty box or cardboard, or the end of a TV show – weighed more because they ate more food.
Sometimes it is heartbreaking to have to put down the fork. It is not like this?
You identify? If you understand where I’m coming from, then you know what it’s like to be so disconnected from your body that you just don’t feel satisfied after the meal is over. You may feel compelled to eat more than your stomach can comfortably hold, which isn’t really much. It’s a well-known fact that your stomach is roughly the size of your clenched fist, somewhere around a 2-cup capacity.
Despite what you’ve been told, eating past that point doesn’t mean you’re a pig or lack self-control and you’re definitely not alone. Here’s a story of mine that shares a discovery I made that can help you stop crying after meals.
Feeling the pain of finishing a meal
Before making the decision to stop dieting, it was almost impossible for me to resign myself to finishing a meal. I felt like every meal would be my last and I was always worried that I would not have enough food so I kept eating. It didn’t matter what he ate as long as he chewed. I justified the reason by the fact that I was still hungry, but now I know that it wasn’t physical hunger that drove my appetite. It was my threadbare emotions, my level of exhaustion, an overly committed schedule, and my inability to say “No” to people that kept me eating to fill what I used to call “my bottomless pit.” If you can relate to eating just because food is present … then I’d like to share this idea with you.
Eat to fill a corner
One morning as I sat down to breakfast around 7:30 a.m. M., Ready to enjoy 1/2 of a Cinnamon Raisin Margarine Bagel along with a nice hot, steaming cup of Lemon Sugar Mint Tea, I thought of something. that I learned many years ago.
On the day he lived in one of the apartment buildings he managed, he used to be a neighbor of a French woman named “Princess D’Or”. Princess and I used to spend time together. One day he invited me to a delicious roast duck dinner with wild rice stuffing, roast potatoes, and apricot glaze. I used to put the potatoes under the duck to absorb all the fat and juices while the duck was roasting.
At the time, I was a huge duck fan and I helped myself to a monster portion. He put a small amount on his plate. As we ate and talked, I watched her curiously as she bit into her food and ate small pieces. It seemed to me that he was concentrating intensely on what he was eating. Curious and wanting to know more, I asked him what he was doing.
He told me that since he often prepares this meal, he just wanted to eat enough to fill a small corner of his stomach. When we got up from the food, I realized the sensations in my body had really exaggerated me and, as my Nana used to say, “I was eating with my eyes and ignoring my stomach”. I was groggy and I felt very bad. I knew I had to excuse myself to go next door and take a nap in my apartment. She, on the other hand, was excited and energetic and couldn’t wait to finish a piece of art she was painting. After thanking him for the delicious food, we said our goodbyes and parted ways.
As those memories swirled in my head, I looked at the bagel in my hand, noticing that there was a solitary little raisin in what was supposed to be a cinnamon raisin bagel, which had absolutely no cinnamon flavor at all. I cut about 1/3 of the 1/2 bagel and proceeded to spread it with margarine. I took a bite and noticed that it was almost tasteless. Then I took another bite and noticed that my observation was the same, Yuck! without flavor. So I put the rest of the 1/2 bagel on the counter and made a mental note to toss it to the birds later. I decided to take my mint tea upstairs and share my observations with you.
Today I really understand what Princess meant by eating to fill a corner. Just those two bites of tasting that nasty raisin bagel were enough to quench my hunger, which was strong enough to keep me from concentrating on what I was writing. I knew I was hungry then, but unlike that night when I became one with Princess Duck, I didn’t want to feel that feeling of being overloaded and unproductive. Then when I’m hungry, whenever that is, I’ll probably make myself a couple of scrambled eggs, because I know I don’t have to limit myself to 3 squares a day. I can eat anything and whenever I want.
And you? Are you eating to fill a corner or a cave? Do you know in advance how much you want to eat and, if you do, what helps you decide?
It is very important to learn to pay attention to how your body feels and what you need / want. By doing that, you will feel great and will be able to eat whatever you want.
Even on weekend mornings, when most dieters plan to overeat, I don’t usually eat a big breakfast. If on the rare occasions I do, I won’t eat until dinner. It is not about depriving me. It’s just that my stomach is no longer comfortable feeling so full and when I feel too full I will wait until I am fine and ready to eat. It may or may not be the next meal.
You may not be aware of the feeling in your stomach. You’re not alone. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating:
Maximum satisfaction: Living in the land of butter, cream, cheese, bread, and wine, the French are no strangers to getting the most satisfaction out of their food. There the diet is considered a dirty word, because they are not afraid of fatty and richer foods. Because your heavier meals are more satisfying and calorie-dense, it’s easier for your stomachs to register satisfaction because the fat is more satisfying and stays in the body longer. The French are used to tuning in to the sensation in their body to know when to finish their meals, eating only until they are satisfied and nothing else.
Savor every bite: French romantics have a similar attitude towards food as towards sexual intercourse. Savor the moment. When you eat your next meal, pay close attention to the flavors, richness, aroma, and texture of your food.
Hari Hachi Bunme: The Japanese also rely on internal cues to guide them when to stop eating. They have a saying that recommends “Hara hachi bunme”, which means “Eat until you are 80 percent full.” Like the French, the Japanese also eat slowly, enjoy their food for its taste, and eat much smaller portions than Americans.
But you may still have trouble knowing when to stop. Here’s a little more help:
Most of the time we are simply not aware of how our body feels unless we are instructed to pay attention. So, for example, you may not have noticed the sensation in your knee until something reminds you to think about your knees.
Find a quiet place where you can sit for just a few moments. Put your hand on your stomach and close your eyes, leaning them towards your stomach. Just to remind you: your stomach is in the upper part of your abdomen below the rib cage. See how it feels right now.
Did you just eat? Is your last meal hanging around? Does your tummy feel peaceful or does it hurt? If your body could speak, what would it say?
Every time you sit down to eat, let your body tell you what is right for you. What is your plan for today? Will you eat to fill a corner or a cave? And if you are eating to fill a cave, what part of you feels empty?
If you would like more help reconnecting with your body or discussing other types of emotional eating challenges you may be facing, I would like to invite you to join my Juicy Woman Yahoo Group. In that panel discussion, you’ll learn tips and strategies, all geared toward helping you make peace with food and friends with your body.