THE COURT SCENE
Conflict in the workplace somehow represents a short case. It has opposing sides and often a judge (usually a neutral party, like a supervisor) to adjudicate the claims. Of course, you may not want to go to a supervisor for a verdict… you may want to simply discuss the conflict with the person involved.
While the word “trial” in these circumstances refers to ongoing proceedings, as far as the dispute is concerned, “trial” has a different meaning. Once you and your co-worker have come up with some resolution, give it a trial period to implement.
If you feel like not much has changed after the trial period, you can always appeal to your co-worker to discuss the issue again.
PLAINTIFFS AND DEFENDANTS
In a presentation of your view of the conflict, before an administrative “court” or simply a presentation to your opponent, it is important to rely on facts and not emotions. When you’re representing yourself, it’s best not to use generalized words like “always.” Instead, quote a specific time and place.
Ideally, if necessary, you can provide witnesses to verify your claims. If possible, have evidence as well to verify your claims.
FIND THE RIGHT WORDS
Conflict is a normal, natural, normal, run-of-the-mill part of working life. What is not normal is the person who deliberately pushes other people, rightly or wrongly. It can be a co-worker or a person in authority, but whatever their position, we are talking about the individual who enjoys annoying, barging in, bullying, belittling, bullying. In fact, it is estimated that around 20% of workplaces include this personality type.
If you work in a war zone, you can win small and large battles by employing some of these techniques that we are about to share. You can learn to jump out of the cauldron of fear that the stalker has bubbling. For his own safety, protection and peace of mind, he must do something. Staying in the cauldron of negativity will surely lead to physical and/or mental problems.
TIPS, TOOLS, TECHNIQUES
1. Stand tall, stand tall, and you will ultimately stand out as someone who cannot be intimidated. The confrontation does not have to be hostile. You can simply ask to meet the person. Suggest a public place, like a corner of the cafeteria, so angry words are less likely to be shouted. Try to avoid an adversarial posture. Instead of the words “you,” use the words “we.” For example, “There seems to be some ‘bad blood’ between us. I don’t know what’s causing it, but I’d like to discuss how we can put a stop to it.
2. Discuss the situation with various people outside the organization and get their feedback. Try every possible solution you hear about until you find one that works.
3. If you don’t have a mentor, find one and discuss the problem with him or her.
If you already have one, let the mentor’s experience guide you through this problem.
4. Keep a journal of instances where you feel you have been treated less respectfully. There are many situations where this journal can be invaluable to you.
5. You can ignore the individual. Maintain a courteous and professional relationship, but basically try to stay out of their way. Don’t let this toxic personality poison your perspective or enjoyment of your work.
6. Look for electronic help. Although you will certainly find your own sources, try visiting the web where you will find many strategies used successfully by those who have survived conflict situations. Of course, you can also find such help in books, newspapers, and magazines.
7. You know that union is strength. If a group of you met with the individual, it might help to convince him of the seriousness of the problem.
8. A rarely used weapon in warfare against conflict is sharing a personal experience. Real life anecdotes can be used to establish trust between two parties and thus indirectly reduce the likelihood of acrimonious breakouts. Credibility aside, anecdotes help others understand the commonalities that bind us together. In this way too, relationships can be made more harmonious.
EXERCISE
Replay in your head a workplace conflict situation that you have been a part of or one that you have heard about or one that you can foresee will occur. Describe the basic stages: what words caused the conflict, what words accelerated or negated it, what resolution, if any, was achieved.
Now, put the scene of the conflict aside. Draw a continuum that represents the decades of your life. What event (sad, funny, scary, surprising) sticks out in your head from each decade? Embellish the details that surround it. Then weave the anecdote into the setting of the conflict so that it can be used to defuse the tensions surrounding the issue.
COCHRAN AND COMPASSION
Whether you present your case to a judge or a jury (a few neutral observers with whom both sides work), let compassion, not invective, mark your presentation. To quote a successful lawyer in the Trial of the Century, “jurors want the lawyers in court to have some compassion and kindness.” It’s as simple as that. Anger and vitriol will not get you as favorable a result as an honest recitation of the facts will.