Most of the time, spouses who are reluctant to separate hope that the separation will end as quickly as possible. They often fear that the longer the separation lasts, the less chance there is that they can save their marriage.
I heard from a wife who said, “My husband and I have been separated for almost nine months. At first, it was only supposed to be a brief trial separation. She said she just needed some time to sort out her feelings. She said she wanted some of peace and quiet to himself. I didn’t think this would last very long. I figured the worst case scenario would be him gone for a month or maybe two. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be almost three-quarters of the one year and we will not be together again.Some friends told me that the separation has lasted so long that it is time for me to face reality.They say that the duration of time is too long and that means my marriage is over.The following I will tell you my opinion on this.
Why there is no deadline to get back together: It is true that the longer you are apart, the more daunting it can be. After all, things often get more and more awkward. As a result, you may begin to wonder if the long separation just indicates that there is no hope left. However, I have known many couples who reconciled many months or even years after their separation began. True, this is not the norm. But it happens. I know because it happened to me. And often when it does happen, it’s because someone has made a deliberate and courageous effort to keep their marriage going. Below I will offer some suggestions on how to do this.
Make sure you don’t get complacent and allow the distance to become both literal and figurative: One of the main reasons that the passage of time is a threat during a separation is because the passage of time causes doubt and discomfort. One or both people begin to wonder why their spouse isn’t getting closer, and because they fear rejection, they may back off as well.
And before you know it, a good chunk of time has passed without any interaction. And then one day leads to another and eventually you are looking at weeks or even months since you spoke to or saw your spouse. You want to avoid this if possible. Even if things are uncertain or uncomfortable, you still want to keep the lines of communication open. Sure, things can be so awkward that all you can handle is a weekly cup of coffee together. Surely this is better than nothing and if you can see it in a way that makes your time together enjoyable and both of you look forward to or look forward to this moment, then that’s something you can build on.
But it’s better to have regular, awkward or tense conversations and meetings than none at all. You don’t want to let too much go without any communication. If this is the case in your situation, then it may make sense to take the initiative to try to change this. Yes, you may feel vulnerable and risk rejection. But keep things very simple and lighthearted. Your goal is not to save your marriage in one meeting or even a series of meetings. Your real goal is simply to start improving your interactions, even if just a little. You already know that this is going to be a gradual process. But if you can get your relationship back on track for something regular, even if it’s just casual, short meetings or communications, then this is something worth doing.
There is no expiration date on your marriage: People often think that if too much time passes, their spouse will eventually forget about them or their marriage. However, they fear that their spouse may meet someone else. These things sometimes happen, but sometimes they are also just temporary. People get back together and make up all the time. There is no expiration date on your marriage and no time period in which you have reached the point of no return. Of course, it is in your best interest to try to keep things positive and try to make things better so that reconciliation happens sooner rather than later.