We can be selfish people, right? We can be so focused and consumed with “me” that we don’t pay attention to the people around us. I think of a husband who is so absorbed in her work or business. He works 60+ hours trying to get to the top or works hard to make his business successful. If you ask that husband if he loves his family, you’ll get a resounding yes with an answer like, “That’s why I’m working so hard” or “I’m doing this for them.” The reality is that he is not working long hours for his wife and children. The opposite is actually true; he is working long hours for himself. I think of times when I saw someone pull over to the side of the road and not stop to see if he needed a hand or to make a phone call. He just wanted to get home and shave, take a shower and relax. I think of the retailer who is more interested in me walking away with a 50″ plasma TV for $2,500 than spending time answering questions and giving honest answers. I think of the car salesman who just wants to sell his next one because that’s going to say anything.
On the ABC primetime segment “What Would You Do?” we see how many men and women walk for people in their time of need. We rationalize in our minds that we shouldn’t get involved in other people’s business. We allow fear to take over us and paralyze us from taking any kind of action. No matter what the situation is, we must use wisdom to deal with it. However, we can do something, right? It is pure selfishness on our part if we see that someone is being abused or harmed in any way and do nothing about it. At least we can do something.
We can really be selfish. In fact, it is built into us. We have a selfish nature. We don’t have to work at it; we are selfish by nature. Like a lion, a bear, or a shark, they are killers by nature; we are selfish by nature. If we just act normally, we will usually act selfishly. Do you remember when we were kids? Everything was mine. We’d have some of the worst tantrums if we didn’t get our way. Maybe you have children or grandchildren right now who do these same things. Granted, a baby should be selfish, but as we get older, that selfishness doesn’t leave us. So it really is abnormal to be selfless. In other words, it is something that does not come naturally. If we want to do it more, then we must work on it.
How do we become less selfish and more selfless? The simple answer to that is that we think more about the needs of others. We pay more attention to what is happening in the lives of those around us and in our community. People in general want to do the right thing and they are generally good. I believe that if more people were selfless, it would change the face of our community, state, nation, and the world. Look at it this way, if you were in dire straits and needed someone else’s help, how would you feel if someone came to your rescue? If we want to be treated with respect and dignity, we must treat others in the same way. If we would like to be helped and cared for in times of need, we must help and care for others in their time of need. Simply reminding ourselves to do to others what we want them to do to us is a good start.
We must also get rid of the present “egoistic” clothes and start new ones. If I have a habit of not helping my wife with the kids, laundry, or dishes, then I can start building a new habit today by helping her with those things. If I’ve never taken the time to sit in the stands and watch my son play soccer or my daughter’s basketball game, then I can change that and start today. How easy is it to change current clothes? It’s as easy as doing the opposite of what I’ve been doing. However, that is the challenge. It’s easy to think of doing the opposite of what I’ve been doing, but actually doing it is the challenge. It’s also easy to change a present habit for one day, but can you change it for 30 consecutive days? This is how the clothes of the present become a thing of the past.
Believe me, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t achieve and accomplish things on our own. Although, I am saying that there must be a balance. I am also saying that there is a better way to have that sense of accomplishment and achievement and that is by helping others. How wonderful is it to put a smile on the face of someone who moments ago was terribly sad? It makes you feel good inside to give a couple of bucks to someone who could use a meal. It feels good to help an elderly person with their purchases. It’s rewarding to help someone on the side of the road put on a spare tire. I have had the great privilege of visiting third world countries and even though poverty strikes you immediately it is very gratifying to help them with food, medicine, clothing, construction, etc. Personally, I think it’s more rewarding to be selfless than selfish.
What other practical things can we do to meet the needs of others? We can volunteer in many places. We can volunteer in a church. We can volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and help build a home for a family in need. We can serve at the local soup kitchen and help feed the hungry. We can visit the neighbors and see if there is anything around their house that they can help with. We can volunteer at a battered women’s shelter or a homeless shelter. We can get involved in charitable events that help those less fortunate. We can financially support organizations that are making a good difference in our community. With minimal thought, we can think of many ways to help others.
What opportunities to help and serve others have you missed? How can you change that and make the most of those opportunities? What new clothes do you want to start? Write them down and start practicing them today. Start with your family. How can you show your spouse and children that you love them? Write ways you can show love to your family through action. What volunteer opportunities are available in your community? Do your research and write down places where you can volunteer. Make plans to visit those places this week. Who can you help in your neighborhood or at work? A true asset in this world is the individual who cares about the needs of others more than his own. It is very rewarding and gives a great sense of accomplishment. Truly it is better to give than to receive.