When a relationship is coming to an end, little makes sense. This is even more apparent if you are the person being dumped. Depending on how compassionate your lover is, they may easily try to disappoint you. A very common phrase that people hear during a breakup is “you deserve someone better.” If you’re on the receiving end of that, you may be a little taken aback. What exactly does it mean and what specifically should I say in response to it?
When your lover says, “You deserve better,” you’re likely to take it to mean that they think they’re not good enough for you. It’s touching when someone says that because you assume it means they really value you and think they can’t measure up. However, don’t get carried away until you really understand the intent behind the words. Your ex is counting on you to take it as a compliment, when you really shouldn’t. They’re probably just trying to let you down easily.
The belief behind the idea that you deserve a better partner suggests that your ex doesn’t value themselves enough. You are a great judge of whether that is true or not. If your ex has never shown signs of having self-confidence issues, then you know that he already believes that he is the best and that this is just a clumsy attempt to break up with you without breaking your heart.
The best way to respond when someone says that you deserve to be with someone better is to agree with them. Obviously, you shouldn’t tell your partner that you think they lack if you hope to one day have a future with them. But it’s a great idea to agree that, for now, the two of you may not be the right match.
The reason this is such an effective response for them is that it takes control away from them and gives it back to you. You are no longer the one wondering what their words mean and you are no longer left with the impression that the reason they left you was because they wanted to free you to find a better partner. Your former partner is now the one feeling the turmoil and wondering whether or not you ever saw them as a compatible couple. The benefit of this is that you will still be top of their mind and they may even set out to prove you wrong and that they are, in fact, perfect for you.