It’s been almost four years since we moved into our home that took over 18 months to build and I decided it had been a long time since we had any porch furniture. I started my online search for outdoor wicker this past Friday which continued through Memorial Day.
I found an exclusive section made by La-Z-Boy for Sam’s Club that, by all indications, had been heavily discounted. The closest store that actually had the set in stock was in Charlotte, which is 60 miles from my home, so I called to request a transfer to the local store. After many calls back and forth between the sending and receiving stores, the answer was this: the discount made the team ineligible for the transfer. I then renewed my membership online to complete the purchase. This is known to experienced members as “Click ‘n Pull”, then you wait for an email that your products are ready for pickup.
Tuesday morning I started calling local Enterprise Rental agencies to find a van or cargo van. I was armed with the dimensions of the furniture and looked online for the sizes of the particular cargo areas for the trucks and vans. I then called Sam’s to see exactly how the game was packaged and was told there were three boxes that were 37 inches by 37 inches each.
After checking the weather, I decided a cargo van was my best bet, packed up the van, and headed for Charlotte in my white Ford Econoline with thoughts of the DC Sniper days in mind.
The Mapquest directions were very clear and I soon felt comfortable driving the truck. I arrived safely and got in line at the Customer Service desk to pay. They told me that they don’t have open boxes and that I can pay at any box. It was then that my day began to take a turn.
The cashier informs me that my card is expired on 1/3. I explain that I renewed it yesterday online before placing the order which would not have allowed the order to be placed if I had not renewed it. She asks if she brought a printout of the receipt. Of course, I said “no” that since the system allowed me to complete the order, I thought that everything was up to date. The clerk reports that the actual update for the store to see the renewal takes 4-5 weeks! What are they using Pony Express? Are computer systems not tied to each other and transfer information from one system to another?
The clerk calls a manager who escorts me back to Customer Service. Now I’m in a longer line and when I actually get someone who is supposed to be able to look up my new information that I processed online, I find my name and address is under my husband’s Ft. Greely, AK address in the system. They enter the ZIP code for North Carolina and Alaska appears.
My husband is not a member of Sam’s Club. It seems that when he changed his address through the post office, the computers at Sam’s Club were updated, and since he was on the old card, “we” had moved according to Sam’s. The card had to be voided twice before it accepted the correct information. The nice lady then asked if she wanted to add my husband as he could show an email with his name on it. My response was “no thanks” fearing we would void another card.
Loading: three boxes? Yes. Were they even close to 37 X 37 inches? No. The biggest box had to be opened and chairs with cushions piled everywhere.
It feels good pulling out of the parking lot with AC Hammer playing on the radio and knowing I’ve beaten rush hour traffic. My noon plan is still going to work with just a few minor glitches. I think the plan is really working out.
Fifteen minutes from home I call my trusted friend and neighbor, Sandy, to come help me unload. It’s around 2 pm and I’m thinking there will be plenty of time to drop the cardboard in the recycling bin on the way to return the van.
Sandy and I unpacked and put the furniture out on the front porch. It looks really good when we decide to sit down. That’s when we find that out of the 6-piece set, 3 pieces have uneven legs. We’re not talking a bit out of character. We’re talking 1-2 inches!
I called my sister to tell her about the game issues and she asked if there are leg levelers to compensate for the short legs. I explain to them that there aren’t any and that they were past the point of helping if they were. Later in rush hour traffic, needing fuel and a seating area I visualize the worst of the chairs Sandy and I had moved all over the porch trying to find fault with the porch and not the furniture. My sister’s helpful tips turned really funny and I laughed out loud at the thought of this pitiful chair that would have been a rocking chair.
I’m calling to tell Sam’s manager I’ll be there in 1 hour 15 minutes and to have the 3 replacement parts out of the boxes and ready to inspect before loading. Since the two corgis have been in the garage all day and a storm is brewing, I decide to take the youngest, Gunner, so he won’t get scared. Remember this reasoning for taking the dog as the plot thickens.
I arrive after making the 60 mile drive once more to find that after speaking to two managers the 3 required pieces are not unpacked for inspection as agreed. I walk through the exit door with the “receipt checker” chasing me saying I would have to go to the front door to get a sticker. I told him I was expected at the customer service desk, little did I know that nothing could have been further from the truth. Both managers had gone to a late lunch and had not left the note on the desk like they said they would.
I start with two new managers listening to my situation once again. They take my information and proceed to try to find someone who can operate a forklift and cordon off the area to retrieve the merchandise. Over the next hour I expect to see these two managers show up again. Meanwhile, my 150 mile allowance in the van for the day has gone over and I’m now at 30 cents a mile and dealing with rush hour traffic.
Two young men appear to unload the damaged goods. I walk them to the van to comfort Gunner. This is when the best intentions go awry. The sound of chairs being scraped off the floor of a metal van far exceeds and closely resembles that of thunder. Gunner was petrified and shaking like a leaf, the very reason I had brought him with me was scarier to him than an actual storm.
Finally one of the managers appears to tell me that they have removed the furniture from the boxes and I can now go with him to see them. One of the managers he had spoken to earlier tries to tell me that if he had left the furniture exposed to the weather, the wicker will adjust as the weather changes and it is used. I then ask him if he knows it’s outdoor wicker, which is metal tubes wrapped in a resin to make it look like wicker. His story doesn’t change leaving me with two thoughts: 1) either he thinks I’m stupid or; 2) is stupid.
The furniture is then loaded into the van which scares Gunner again and Sam’s Club made an adjustment to compensate me for the extra fuel and cost per mile on the van.
I start to climb into the truck and realize that Gunner has decided that he can only ride between my feet and the brake and gas. I carry him back to his seat twice and by the time I get to the driver’s door he is back under my feet. Then I put a chair between the two seats and head home.
Later I stop at the gas station and guess a Ford would have the gas tank on the driver’s side so the door can hit the iron bar, the pumps, or both. This is something foreign car manufacturers figured out years ago and we haven’t figured it out yet! Today I am falling out of the van for at least the 20th time and trying to guess the size of the tank so that I can refuel up to the required half before returning it. Then I look at my cell phone to get the time and it’s 6:09 pm, too late to go back to today’s year.
I’ve been to the massage therapist twice this week for a strained back from driving a van without cruise control and not being able to reach the throttle comfortably.
My last five years of boycotting Sam’s and Wal-Mart have been good. I have renewed conviction watching my own copy of PBS’s Frontline “Is Wal-Mart really good for America?” which is not. I now have a daily reminder on my front porch not to get sucked into what appears to be a good deal on the surface. The cost of jobs and the general drop in our standard of living can be directly attributed to this company.
I for one do not intend to ever forget the “real cost” involved. I went against my morals and good judgment by selling part of my soul for a “good deal”. Of course, I’m not alone, so was La-Z-Boy when they put his good name on a Chinese-made product for Sam’s Club.