My story begins about nine years ago, when I came out of a “difficult” relationship and was enjoying life again. I was determined not to have wasted fifteen years of my life and so I wrote a story about my experiences. I can tell you that it was not an easy read, but I found the writing process a bit cathartic and when I finished, I saved my story and forgot about it.
Fast forward eight years to an older friend whom I had known for some time and who was the sweetest lady.
When she began to forget the names of the people and the places she had been, her husband took her to the doctors and they diagnosed her with dementia.
Her deterioration was difficult to witness and when her husband died suddenly, she went to a nursing home and then to a nursing home. In the end she did not recognize anyone and completely lost contact with reality, although she seemed content and cradled a doll as if it were her son.
I had a lot of emotions that I needed to express, so I took out my pen again and wrote a story about old age and dementia. My friend’s experience was still very raw in my mind, so I changed my main character to a man, which helped me write from a more distant perspective.
He also wanted to give a voice to the elderly. I observed how my mother was often ignored or abused and she said that since she had aged she felt invisible.
When I finished writing, I mentioned the stories to a friend of mine, who is a film director, and he asked me to read the scripts.
He suggested finding someone you know to play the lead role and thought Bobby Ball would be ideal. At that moment I remember thinking “It is very likely that someone famous agrees to appear in my movie.” Horrible negative attitude, I know, but I still struggle with self-esteem issues.
This could have been the end of the story, as it is very easy to get demoralized and give up on your dreams. Sometimes it feels like everything is conspiring against you and the easiest thing is to give up and find something else to do. I don’t think my years in an abusive relationship have helped as I still bear the mental scars and it takes a long time to rebuild my self esteem when it has been shattered so many times.
It really was an effort, but I decided that whatever happened in the past wouldn’t affect my future and if I ever paid attention to those little voices, you know the ones that always tell you that you can’t do it. something or you’ll never be good enough; if he ever caught me listening to them he would give me a good talk and tell me how cool I am. I didn’t always believe it, but it’s better than criticizing you all the time.
So these are the 3 things I’ve learned from this experience, but they apply to just about anything you want to achieve.
1. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
It is so difficult when you are working on your own and it is something you have never done before. If your confidence is shaky at first, the first blow to the back is likely to send you running in the opposite direction. But don’t do it. Have faith in yourself: everyone has to start somewhere and you have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain.
2. DON’T GIVE UP
Oh, it’s so easy to make excuses as to why you should give up, and yes, it would be easier. But, I tell you, the sense of accomplishment that you get with every step forward and with every bridge you cross, is just amazing. Keep going, no matter how difficult it gets, and you’ll have an advantage over thousands of people who try but give up too easily.
3. MAKE FRIENDS
It is when you need help and when you approach people, you realize how many friends you have, or you don’t have in my case. I should have gone online like crazy to get the word out, but I didn’t and had to work a lot harder to catch up. Make new friends and connect with people you haven’t talked to in a while.
Surround yourself with people who have a positive outlook on life, as negative people will depress you and you will start to doubt yourself.