There is a disease all around me in modern society that seems to be spreading like the Black Death did in Europe so long ago. It’s called depression, have you heard of it? Has it affected you? The more I look, the more I see it in so many people in my life, myself included. Depression sucks. It’s a real bummer, and I mean a real bummer. It is different from the feelings of unhappiness that all humans have to deal with in their lives. It’s being in a solitary prison where you’re the only one who can see the walls; You are the jailer, the guard and the prisoner all in one. Sounds like fun, huh? Well, we better be more aware because there are certain aspects of contemporary life that are causing more and more souls to lock themselves away, some believing that they have no hope of ever finding the key.
If you search the internet for depression via a Google search query, you will find many different ways and means to manage or treat the problem. There are Eastern and Western approaches, psychological and spiritual; Today there are 15,400,000 links on the subject. It seems to be on everyone’s mind, and yet we don’t give it the general social awareness that we give other diseases. This is probably because there are so many stigmas surrounding the failures of the human mind. Broken bones and cancer we can understand or at least think we do; but we hit a soft spot when we find a problem with that infinitely complex and useful magical device we call the brain.
I recently went to a public talk by a world famous psychologist named Dorothy Rowe who was selling her new book, ‘Depression: The Way Out of Your Prison’. I’m not going to tell you that she has all the answers, but I “liked the different approach she took to the disease. She’s not against modern medication, but she feels it may be only part of the solution. Of course, there are types of severe clinical depression that need certain chemicals to rebalance the brain to a ‘normal’ functioning level, but for all depression he feels the focus could be shifted from a management paradigm to one of prevention.
Dr. Rowe focuses on the claim that depression arises when the structure of interpreting the world around you has been affected by some profoundly negative events (usually in youth). His theory suggests that if a certain event happens to a hundred people, they will all probably interpret the experience in an individual and different way; perceived ‘reality’ has been a construct resulting from one’s life experiences. For example: Let’s say you get fired from your job. Almost everyone is going to feel general unhappiness and grief during the period that follows. However, many people have developed positive and optimistic ways of looking at life and will move on and feel that the layoff was another necessary step or a momentary setback on the path to their life goals and dreams. “What does not kill me makes me stronger”. is a common feeling of this type of personality.
However, a person who is prone to perceiving the world around them as threatening and dangerous (perhaps your parents never gave you positive affirmations as a child, or even put you down emotionally) may believe that the loss of this job is a relative “destruction”. ‘of his world, his security, his confidence. This is where the disease of depression can sink its sharp teeth. This is a pretty mild analogy; in reality some people have gone through childhoods from hell filled with abuse, neglect and addiction. When this type of person later has to deal with the loss of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship, you can imagine that she would be much more likely to perceive the experience as profoundly negative. Dr. Rowe believes that these built structures of perception of what happens to you can be altered, thus giving rise to a new way of seeing reality. The main idea is based on the idea that we must learn to change the ways we see ourselves.
If we can learn to accept ourselves with all our flaws and imperfections, and realize that if we are doing our best to be a loving and giving person every day, then we can see ourselves as worthy and that all is well. . So if someone else treats us badly, ignores us, or says we’re not good enough, we can know and acknowledge that they are the person with the problem and that we don’t necessarily need their affirmation or acceptance. Then we can wait for positive people to enter our lives, since like attracts like. Very soon we will find that there is a group of people who will stand by us and support us when things get bad because we do the same for ourselves and for them.
One of the most powerful insights I got from this experience was the sheer number of people in the room for Dr. Rowe’s speech. Each and every one of them had been or knew someone close to them who had been depressed at some point in their life, thinking they were all alone in the world. When you see a large group of people together who have felt lonely, could you see the true paradox of reality? If everyone who got depressed realized that it is a common thing and connected with others in similar cases, it could definitely be a step towards healing. Could the Internet take a leading role in this process?