a battle of wills

In South Florida, something as personal as preparing a will often becomes a battle of wills for many couples and families. Creating or updating an estate plan requires contemplation of money, death, and extended family. These are topics that can cause fights in even the strongest families. To avoid any conflict with your partner or spouse over estate planning, here are some tips to follow when discussing the subject.

Try not to be too critical of your partner’s family members.

Many fights that arise over the drafting of a will stem from perceived attacks on next of kin rather than which family member will get what after the testator’s death. If you have strong feelings that a particular relative should be left out of your will or you disagree with the choice of your executor partner in South Florida, you should be very diplomatic and describe your position without speaking negatively about the relative. specific. For example, he may explain that he wants to give a particular relative a lesser than equal share of his estate because other descendants need the money more or will use it better. Make sure you don’t tell your partner that you don’t think this person deserves the money, even if they really don’t. You should explain that you disagree with your partner’s choice of executor or trustee not because there is something wrong with this person (even if there is), but because you believe someone else is more equipped to handle the task.

Propose compromises instead of arguing for one side or the other.

Fights are more likely when one spouse feels that the other is not listening to their voice. A preventative solution to this problem is to listen to your partner’s positions and seek some kind of middle ground, even if you disagree with their decision. For example, if you disagree about how to divide the estate among relatives because some relatives are less deserving than others, you can leave this less than worthy descendant a family heirloom of sentimental value, even if it has very little value. financial value Another solution might be to set up a charitable trust in South Florida that supports the family as one partner wishes, but then donates what is left to charity as the other wishes.

Another possible compromise with remarried couples could involve giving a small percentage of the estate to the children of a couple’s previous marriage rather than excluding these descendants entirely. It might also be a good idea to include a statement in your will explaining that descendants who received less are not loved less. If you and your partner or spouse cannot agree on a South Florida executor for your will, you can each name your ideal executor candidate and make them co-executors rather than selecting one over the other or even name a mutual friend or South Florida executor. bank as executor instead of arguing over which family member to select.

Discuss any potentially dangerous issues with your partner or spouse before meeting with your estate planning attorney.

Visiting your South Florida estate planning attorney just so you and your partner can argue in front of him will increase everyone’s tension level and waste your time and the attorney’s time. Instead of waiting to discuss these situations in the attorney’s office, you should schedule time to sit down with your spouse or partner before the meeting and discuss who should be the executor, who should be responsible for minor children, and who should get what. of each of your haciendas. Even if you can’t compromise on every issue, this pre-meeting discussion will allow you to clearly and calmly discuss any disagreements with your attorney at your free consultation. At that point, you may be able to offer some acceptable solutions.

Discuss each of your goals and come up with a main objective.

What do you and your partner want most to accomplish your will? If you can agree on a major goal, you’ll be less likely to argue over the smaller details. If you have minor children, it is likely that you and your spouse agree that the main purpose of your will is to ensure that the children are cared for. Both spouses will primarily care that the children are brought up properly. If your partner protests that giving one of your family members custody of the children will anger or disappoint your family members, simply remind your partner of the main goal and explain why you live with the interests of your choice of guardian. It would be the best for children. .

Remember to continually use the term “for now.”

You and your partner should review your estate plans whenever there is a change in your family or in estate tax law. Your will can and will be amended in the future. Reminding your spouse or partner that decisions made today are not necessarily permanent can take some of the emotion out of the discussion. For example, if your partner wants your sister to be the guardian of the children, but you would prefer that your brother raise them because he is married and she is single, you can reassure your spouse that the issue can be brought up again if your sister has married

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