The leading German thinker and philosopher of the last century, Nietchze, is the source of my knowledge of this wise observation that “marriage is one long conversation.” While Nietchze generally gets a bad rap for his “superman theories” and his “God is dead” dictum, this seems like the BEST philosophical observation of his on that great human institution: MARRIAGE.
Over the past seven years on our Bi Men Network, many of our men have repeatedly admitted that they STILL HAVE GREAT CONVERSATIONS with their wives. When the moment of truth arrives, many men admit that his wives are, in fact, his best friends. While women seem to make “best friends” much more easily than most adult men, finding a “best friend” is all too often a major problem for many adult men.
As we all KNOW by now, romance fades and sex fades. Youth fades. Outer beauty fades. The energy fades. Getting old is not for sissies as Bette Davis once astutely pointed out!
Do you still talk to your wife? Or are they like so many older couples who sit at the dining room table in SILENCE or with the television or radio on or both reading their sections of the newspaper? How many couples do we see going out to eat in public in COMPLETE SILENCE. And NOT the comfortable silence of two old friends who are at peace with such tranquility.
Well, if you STILL ENJOY a good conversation with your spouse, SHE IS A KEEPER, and definitely so is your best friend, or one of your three best friends. It has been said that after 30 we should only have THREE GOOD FRIENDS. Running in a pack is for nuns and young people.
IF you are still enjoying GOOD TALKS – GOOD CONVERSATIONS – with your partner, you are really very, very lucky.
I often assume that one of the reasons MEN really enjoy GOLF as they get older is that it’s a good cover to FINALLY have a conversation, really solid TALK, with other men while riding or walking around so many holes of golf! WHILE walking together or riding in a golf cart, you can talk without looking into each other’s eyes. It’s ALSO a good reason why bar stools with liquid chat lubricants are a conversation plus. Not having to look directly into another person’s eyes! And those amazing TALKS on planes and trains with strangers we never see again. EYES not in direct contact with our chat partner! IF you ever find you need to have a heart-to-heart with your spouse and you’re not good at direct eye contact, consider a long, private “Sunday” drive in the country where you can communicate quietly and intimately with each other.
So if you’ve had a HISTORY of GOOD TALKS with your spouse, do it again. OFTEN: It’s nice to take that nice long Sunday drive for the hell of it, even take a picnic for extra fun. BUT even the spontaneous SUNDAY DRIVE is good. You can relax and chat with your FOUR EYES on the road ahead and just have a nice CHAT with your partner! Give it a try, after all, you owe your best friend a lot, right? OK!
A big hug and best wishes,
Stewart (Mac) McCloud
Founder and President
Bi-MEN NETWORK – http://www.bimen.org
Now over 250,000 kids with us today