Sometimes I hear from wives who just don’t buy their husband’s excuses about their affair. A common complaint is that husbands come up with a lame excuse as to why the affair lasted so long. Many times, your excuse doesn’t even sound plausible.
I heard from a wife who said, “I found out two weeks ago that my husband has been cheating on me with a woman who works at the grocery store where we shop. He initially tried to tell me it only lasted a couple of weeks, but I got his phone records and obviously lasted much longer than that. In fact, it lasted for months. So when I confronted my husband about this and asked him why he would stay in a relationship that he claimed meant nothing to him, he said he was just staying in the relationship because every time I was trying to break it up, the other woman was telling him that she was going to tell me everything the next time I was in the store. the relationship because he didn’t want me to know. Is this possible? Because this sounds like such a bogus excuse to And even if it’s true, if he wasn’t getting something out of the relationship, I can’t imagine him staying even if he knew I found out.
Actually, you’d be surprised how many cheating spouses never imagine that their spouse finds out about the affair. They often don’t think rationally and don’t really think about the future. Many also do not intend to continue the unfaithful relationship forever. So your discovery is usually not in your immediate thought process, as silly as that sounds.
Many men claim that the other woman does several things to maintain the relationship: So the next question is: would a reasonably rational man allow the other woman to essentially blackmail him? I have to admit that this is not the first time I have heard of a situation like this. It is not an unusual excuse. And I admit that several men have made comments on my blog describing how the other woman has tried a number of stratagems to prevent him from ending things.
She will often try a number of tactics such as making him feel guilty, or trying to tempt him into changing his mind, or trying to make him believe that she won’t demand anything of him. When things like this don’t work out and the husband is still trying to end the relationship, it wouldn’t be unusual for her to threaten to tell her wife. However, common sense would tell you that if she does this, her relationship will surely change. Because now they would both know that he is not there by his own will, but that he is only there out of fear. And frankly, I think this will get old pretty quickly. Who wants to continue in a long-term relationship when he knows he’s only there because he’s afraid of the consequences when he’s not?
Know that the truth will probably surface at some point: I think the heart of this whole conflict was the wife’s desire to know how serious this relationship really was. Many wives would rather see a short fling than a long-term relationship given the choice. Because the longer the relationship, the more emotional or physical connection it implies. But when the husband claims that the duration of the affair should be denied because he was pressured into staying, then the wife has to assess whether she is going to buy this.
I know it may seem like you need to make a quick decision on whether or not to buy this. But frankly, you can often wait and just accept that the jury might still be out. Because honestly, in the course of trying to rebuild her marriage, she will often get a clearer picture of the truth, and this often comes slowly when her husband thinks she can tolerate the truth or when accuracy starts to decrease. drain.
I know you are inclined to worry about this and I completely understand. But it may help you to know that most of the time, the truth doesn’t stay hidden forever. If what he’s telling you is true, chances are you’ll see some evidence of the same thing at some point or he’ll keep that theme consistent. If not, it’s probably obvious to you.
What matters more than the nature of your relationship: I know you feel like you need the absolute truth because you need to know how much he cared about her. But what you also need to understand is that he often believes one thing when the adventure is active and changes his mind once he isn’t. While things are exciting and he’s right in the middle of getting them done, he may feel engaged and his sense of excitement actually fuels him.
But once the matter comes to light, it’s almost like a balloon deflates. The accumulation is disappointed and the excitement fades. And it may suddenly be clear to him that she wasn’t so special after all. This could be what her husband is dealing with right now. It is possible that now she realizes how much of a mistake this relationship was and now she is trying her best to diminish it in the eyes of both of them.
Do I agree with your statement that you only stayed with the other woman because of blackmail or a threat to expose the matter? Not really. And if this were true, he didn’t have much control during this whole process, but that’s true for a lot of men. And frankly, it’s all too common for a man to say anything necessary to downplay the relationship, especially when he’d rather it never happen when, sadly, he can’t take it back.
As frustrating as it is, sometimes you have to ask yourself if you want to stop in a relationship that ended or if you want to make sure it ends and then decide if you want to move on. Because the truth is that people’s feelings and emotions often change drastically during an affair. What you felt a few weeks ago may seem very strange and embarrassing to you right now.