Marriage, being a noble cause and a necessity for a decent life and home, helps to spread the wings of the Marriage relationship far beyond, crossing all borders, all religions, regions, castes and creeds. Marriage is the legitimate means to make the family develop and expand in the universe with responsibilities shared and delegated to the progeny, from generation to generation. Shaadmaani, Extreme Matrimonial Bliss, is achieved by mankind, regardless of Region, Religion, Belief or Color, with the sole and noble aim of bringing together all eligible men and women in the bond of a Matrimonial Bliss – a happy beginning. of his life again. , a completely new experience, exploration and expansion of your horizon in the right direction.
The phenomenon of the Dowry System that has been prevailing among all societies and its collateral and negative effects on the daily life of the people involved and those around them is observed in India and in the subcontinents. Let’s take a look at how this practice of Demanding Dowry developed over the years:
When the Princesses of a dynasty married, the Father-King offered, with overwhelming joy, a part of his wealth and his State to his Sons-in-law. His ministers, maintaining an orderly protocol at their levels, also followed this royal practice. In view of such grandiose wedding functions and ostentatious material, the high-ranking officials also wished to offer something to the newcomers to their family through marriage. They offered gold if not diamonds, household items if not ancient artifacts, government employment if not property. The general public, regardless of rich and poor, followed this conspicuous practice to maintain ‘prestige’ and felt very well on a par with the still wealthy society.
However, this dubious marriage tradition seeped into the homes of the poor and downtrodden to generate false respect. By then a conscious feeling of guilt about giving birth and caring for girls was already present. Also the increasing percentage of female births over male children contributed its share to the corrupt system. The fact that in each home there were more girls than boys alarmed the elders who hastened to give their daughters in marriage. This created a ground for competition. This attitude paved the way for the bride and groom and their parents to demand the dowry of their choice.
The dowry system has recently become so popular that all bride and groom are proud and conspicuous by the number of items, the weight of gold, and the amount of money they receive. The girls’ parents also sighed with relief that they had given such things to their sons-in-law. They relaxed in debt because their daughters will be well respected and better treated by their in-laws, compared to their counterparts. Daughters also take pride in getting so much from their parents and do not miss an opportunity to highlight their material superiority over other girls of their position in the family they enter. The less-adorned daughter feels small in the situation and fights with her in-laws or pesters her parents to give her more so that she, too, can earn the same respect in her husband’s family. These skirmishes within the family involve all members and take forms in different dimensions, such as the division of families, the separation of couples, divorce, endless enmity, lawsuits, loss of happiness and personal disputes.
You could see women acting like women haters in almost every family as they start talking about marriage. The boy’s mother often silences the entire family with a flick of her tongue when negotiating the money and gold ornaments that she would prefer her daughter-in-law to bring and deposit with her. Some mothers argue that they, too, brought such things when they got married, and some rearranged the in-laws’ ornaments into a dowry gift for their own daughters, causing trouble and unwanted comments from the daughter-in-law and her family.
Greed, fondness for easy money, false prestige among circles of friends, etc. make a boy beg for a dowry from the girl’s parents. He doesn’t realize that he is selling himself off as a prostitute for an amount disproportionate to her status. He behaves like an obedient child, who never crossed the Lakshman Rekha (a line drawn by Rama’s brother before Sita asking her not to cross this line) at any time drawn by his parents, until he receives the dowry on her whole.
Reflect on the difficulties of parents who cannot afford to pay a large dowry at the Wedding that is demanded disproportionately from them, by the Groom’s family or by the Groom himself.
Due to the Dowry system, marriage becomes a burden.
It is heartening to note the fact that it is the Dowry Demand that breeds hatred of the girl child and misleads parents to kill newborns, instigates forced abortions, creates cracks in family unity, mars good relations as a couple, ends in enmity, blows up the gas stoves and brings death to the young brides. Due to the Disproportionate Dowry System, marriage becomes a burden, prostitution becomes very easy, and married life takes the form of hell.
The Middle East Dowry System is working in the reverse order. Here the Dowry Demand comes from the Bride’s side. Strong and unjustified demands make spinsters many thousands of girls, who otherwise might have settled well in their married life achieving wedded bliss every time. The children fight for years to get married. Rich families marry off their sons easily, while poor and middle-class children take years to work hard and save for their marriage.
A Law of the Land will not be enough to stop this demonic practice. Any family that is going to marry their son must understand that the begging of the Dowry is not a Royal Practice nor a prestige in society but a curse for them and a sin committed by them. This would definitely lower the status of the child and her family. The boy-turned-boyfriend must understand that easy money will never give his life a boost and he must be sensible to observe the financial standards of the girl’s family. Family members and in-laws should stop making uncomfortable and demeaning comments by taking the moral responsibility to appreciate and adjust for any shortcomings that result from a costly and delicate new relationship. Only then will this diabolical practice of demanding dowry be curbed or eliminated and many singles will have their lives simplified and free from in-law scorn.
While not opposed to the voluntary and proportionate giving of dowry by parents to their children, newly married couples should all abhor and oppose any demand that is presented as a precondition for marriage.
All responsible parents should be encouraged to discard such a bad practice and make humble efforts for the Noble Cause of getting their children married to live and lead a happy married life, with peace of mind.