One reason is that you allow him to do this. If you continue to date or be in a relationship with this man, well, he tells him that it’s okay for him to treat you this way. He misbehaves, you reward him with your company. He manages to keep you in the background. You still wonder why he does it in the first place, not to mention how you wonder how he really feels about you.
I can tell you what he doesn’t feel for you. A man who runs hot and cold, here one day he’s gone the next. One day he’s super sweet on the phone, the next day he’s like you’re a nuisance. This man does not see you as a priority in his life. If he did, he would be scared to death of running hot and cold. He would be afraid that you would leave. A man who treats you like a princess one day and a peasant the next doesn’t love you and probably won’t see you as his mistress forever.
The guys have learned that there are plenty of women who will put up with this behavior. It is the women before you who may have trained him this way. They put up with it. He learned that he really didn’t have to do much to keep a woman close. He doesn’t really value these women, but mostly because they don’t value themselves.
These hot and cold guys will keep you in limbo for a while, but eventually they almost always disappear. What usually makes them disappear is that a woman appears who may present them with a greater degree of difficulty or a new challenge. She moves in search of the chase. Unfortunately though, they often throw you a phone call or text, just to keep you informed. Crumbs, just crumbs. You better not bother bending over to pick them up.
If your boy is hot and cold, it does not mean that he is hopeless, they have turned around. Usually it is from another woman who will not tolerate the cold. He becomes intrigued and the next thing you know he is in a serious relationship where he is jumping through hoops for this woman and you wonder what she has that you don’t.