I often hear from wives who want my advice on how to heal after their husband cheated on them. However, from time to time, I hear of lovers or women cheating on another woman’s husband. These women often want my opinion or advice about the husband and want to know how to keep him involved. (I’m not offering this advice, of course.) But, a question I get quite often is something like, “Why do men go back to their wives after an affair? I know I made him happy and I know he likes me better.” to be with me than with her. So why did he go back to his wife when we were so happy together? I have theories as to why husbands eventually come to their senses and return home. I’ll share them with you in the next article.
Men often return to their wives after an affair because they realize they have been foolishly living in a fantasy land: It’s not uncommon for men to tell me that one day they wake up and suddenly realize how stupid and selfish it is to cheat on their wife. They often find that there really is nowhere for the adventure to go. One day, they realize that this was all a big mistake, that they really love their wives, and that they were trying to fix the problems in their life (which often had nothing to do with their wife) the wrong way. .
This will often cause a feeling of desperation and urgency, where they want to fix this problem and clean up this mess right away. Therefore, they often break abruptly with the lover, who is left confused about what she did wrong. The truth is, she may or may not have done something wrong. But frankly, it’s more likely that the man realized that the relationship was seriously wrong and there was no good reason to continue with something that is based on fantasy, deceit, and an unhealthy foundation.
Men often return to their wives because they realize that the affair is not going to solve their problems: Another thing I often see is that men have an affair to fix themselves, or their low self-esteem, or their inability to feel powerful, but eventually realize that the affair was just a quick but temporary fix. Somewhere along the way, they wake up and realize that they’re not really any better and that those same doubts and insecurities that plague them are still there. Sure, the matter may have been a distraction for a while. But eventually, one day they look in the mirror and realize that not only are they still getting old, insecure, or stressed, they are now also deceitful, dishonest, and acting embarrassingly. In this way, the matter has only made things worse for them and they want things to go back to “normal”.
Men return to their wives after cheating because they love their wives (and never loved the woman they were cheating with): I often have lovers say things to me like, “I know he loved me. I know he adored me in a way that I could never adore her. I get it. She doesn’t. I know a divorce would be expensive and he doesn’t.” . she wants to give up her children. But she will one day come to her senses and he will realize that he doesn’t love her the way he loves me.” I often have to bite my tongue to keep from saying “good luck with that way of thinking” .
This is what these women don’t understand. He is not likely to love you as he loves his wife. She has often been with him through thick and thin. It is likely that she shares a long history with him and a family with him. In short, this woman has put her time. You haven’t even started to do it. Yes, you may have felt that you had a connection and a deep spiritual understanding with each other. However, this is likely because it hasn’t been challenged yet. Everything is light and sweet and no one has to deal with sick children, dirty laundry or a broken down car.
Love is a very loosely used word and this is unfortunate. But real, deep love builds itself over time, and often doesn’t arise from a dishonest situation where you’re betraying and lying to someone you supposedly love. The lover often waits and hopes that a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship will grow out of an unhealthy situation and negative emotions. So, you already have that against you.
On the one hand, this can make everything exciting at first. But on the other hand, when the smoke clears, it will bring shame and disgust, and a desire to end it all and get back to what is honest and real. This is his wife and his family. This may well seem unfair to you, but hopefully, he knew this risk existed when he started this relationship.
Do not misunderstand. I don’t want either party in any relationship to get hurt or injured. But, if you are the lover reading this article, you should know that, in my opinion, you are better off with a man who is free to commit to you and who is not ashamed to be honest about your relationship. A healthy and loving relationship is not based on deceit and does not need to be hidden.